Strands Of Devastation
by Aito Hitoshirezu
Summary: Fed up with Naruto's unhealthy eating habits, Tsuande bans the blonde ninja from eating ramen. If only she knew what would happen when she did. What will happen to Naruto now? Please read and review!
1. Another Unwanted Seal

**Chapter 1: ****Another Unwanted Seal**

"WHAT?" The cry of one particular 18 year old blonde ninja woke up the entire populace of Konoha at the ungodly hour of 7:00am…and on a weekend too.

"I'm sorry Naruto, but you just can't eat ramen anymore. Sakura and I've been wondering why you haven't grown at all and since the only thing that hasn't changed with you is ramen, that's the only thing it could be." Tsunade sat back in her chair, ready for anything else Naruto may come up with. Surprisingly, Naruto merely looked up with a smirk.

"So what are you going to do about me when I leave on missions outside the town?" Tsunade grinned before gesturing to Jiraiya, who was now standing behind the blonde jinchuuriki. In an instant, the blonde had jumped back in a defensive position, his kunai knife out.

"Oh there is no way in hell that you two are going to physically beat the living crap out of me until I give up ramen, believe it! Besides, I'm stronger than the both of you now." Tsunade kept that annoying smile on her face.

"That is true Naruto, you may be stronger than me physically, but…" In an instant, the blonde Hokage (Tsunade, not Naruto) had pulled up her shirt, revealing her…overly large assets. Naruto could only stare for about 3 seconds, before flying back from a spurting nose-bleed before passing out on the ground.

"Poor innocent Naruto, now Jiraiya, put the seal on him…Jiraiya?" Tsunade glanced to her left to see the perverted Sannin being just that, as he was currently pre-occupied ogling the busty blonde. In an instant, the Sannin was knocked out cold lying next to Naruto. Tsunade sighed.

"Great, now I have to wait for Jiraiya to wake up…or…" Tsunade lifted up the Sannin, and aimed at a specific spot in the village, before tossing the Toad Sannin up in the air, following up with a chakra-enhanced kick which sent Jiraiya flying all the way across the village…right into the hot springs.

Yet another scream filled the village…followed by a lot more squealing and sounds of another man screaming. After all, how was Tsunade supposed to know today was the Hyuuga womens' weekly bath day?

It was about an hour later when Jiraiya returned, limping the whole way, having suffered numerous tenketsus being closed in. To make matters worse, there was one specific area that was really _limp_, having suffered a direct shot. Jiraiya grimaced and was glad that his 'little buddy' down there was numbed as well, or else he'd be down on the ground clutching it.

Tsunade also noticed the odd walking method of the Toad Sannin after he came back and chuckled.

"Now, draw his seal."

_**Time Skip…**_

Naruto woke dazedly with a red hue to his face after remembering just what had knocked him unconscious in the first place. Above him were Tsunade and Jiraiya, smirking for some reason. Grumbling about old blondes and perverted sages, the prankster ninja hopped to his feet before looking at both of them oddly.

"Just what did you do to me?" Tsunade looked to Jiraiya, who looked back to Tsunade, and they both faced the blonde.

"Absolutely nothing." Naruto simply stared at both of them for a while.

"Ok…I'm going to get some ramen now, and no flashing, granny." When Naruto instinctively raised his arms above his head, he felt no imminent attack. Peeking over his eyes for a moment, he noticed that the old Hokage was still smiling. Now Naruto was definitely afraid.

"Fine, don't tell me what you did. But from the silence I'm guessing I'm still allowed to eat my precious ramen, so bye!" In a yellow flash, much reminiscent of the fourth Hokage, the blonde was gone in an instant.

It was finally after Naruto had left that Tsunade actually decided to ask Jiraiya what he did to Naruto.

"Oh let's just say the new effect of ramen on Naruto will be a blast." Tsunade narrowed her eyes at Jiraiya.

"How much of a blast?" Their answer was rewarded when a large shockwave shook the Hokage Tower and both rushed to the window to see a large smoke column rising from where Ichiraku's ramen stand was. Tsunade glared at Jiraiya, who simply waved his hands nervously.

"Um…I made a mistake somewhere?" Once again, the white-haired Sannin found himself being sent flying into the hot springs, where he was once again beset upon…and had more damage done to his 'little buddy' down below.

Meanwhile, Naruto had just regained consciousness from the explosion and looked to his left, and noticed that Ichiraku's was completely destroyed. Not only that, but he also saw the spilt bowls of ramen all over the floor. It was finally then that Naruto cracked.

"MY PRECIOUS RAMEN, NOOO!!" After slowly crawling towards the noodles, he never noticed all the ramen noodles glow around him before they exploded. It was then that the entire local populace of Konoha woke up at the ungodly hour of 8:30am while on a weekend after the numerous explosions, screaming, squealing and wailing, grumbling about inconsiderate assholes who couldn't be bothered giving people a nice sleep-in.

They were going to be in for a rough day.


	2. Memory and Vision

Aito: Thanks to all the reviewers so far and don't worry, Naruto will get his revenge…whether he intentionally means to or not

_Aito__ Hitoshirezu: Thanks to all the reviewers so far and don't worry, Naruto will get his revenge…whether he intentionally means to or not. _

**Chapter 2: Memory and Vision**

Naruto was continuing to walk glumly through the streets of Konoha, not even paying attention to the looks of hate he was getting now. Although a small part of him was glad they weren't mad over the demon fox that was still inside him though.

His thoughts were halted by the abnormal rumbling of an earthquake-like sound which signaled the demon container was hungry. Naruto instantly attempted to run back towards Ichiraku's, before remembering that he had accidentally destroyed it somehow. What was even worse was that he had put the old man and Ayame in the hospital from the explosion.

Sighing, Naruto turned around and decided to enter the nearest supermarket. All of this didn't go unnoticed however…

Tsunade watched Naruto entering the supermarket with Jiraiya. As soon as he entered, the Hokage turned to Jiraiya. "YOU IDIOT, YOU WERE ONLY MEANT TO ENSURE THAT THE RAMEN WOULD GO STALE WHEN IT WENT NEAR HIM, NOT EXPLODE WITH THE FORCE OF AN EXPLODING TAG!"

However, Jiraiya wasn't going to take this, considering the blonde had no idea about seals.

"HOW THE HELL DO I MAKE A SEAL THAT MAKES RAMEN GO STALE? SEALS ARE MEANT TO EITHER CONTAIN OR RELEASE, THEY CAN'T DRAIN!" It was then that Tsunade finally realized where Naruto had gone into.

"Um Jiraiya, Naruto just entered that supermarket didn't he?" Jiraiya simply stared at her with a look that clearly showed he was starting to get rather annoyed with the obvious statement. Wondering why Tsunade was so afraid though, Jiraiya began to think, before paling.

"THE INSTANT RAMEN!"

"IT'S GOING TO BLOW!"

Meanwhile, Naruto who had just entered the supermarket, was looking through the foods section when he saw the massive pile up of the new 'every flavour in one cup' instant ramen. Instantly, the blonde found himself slowly drifting towards the heavenly meal.

That was when Tsunade and Jiraiya busted into the supermarket and noticed Naruto being drawn to the ramen like a fly to an electric light. Jiraiya was the first to act and leapt at the blonde, attempting to tackle him out of the way. However, as the blonde suddenly dropped to his knees and crawled towards it, Jiraiya sailed over the blonde's head and fell face-first into a very soft cushion…

Looking up, the Sannin looked up to see none other than Anko Mitarashi, who had just happened to be carrying a large amount of dango boxes and dango sticks. Feeling the pervert landing in her ampleness, the jounin's eyes narrowed.

"What do you think you're doing?" hissed Anko as the Sannin was merely pale from seeing who he had tried to grope. After receiving no reply, the snake jounin promptly kneed Jiraiya between the legs, before summoning a few snakes and tossing the skewers at him before hunting him down.

"WHY IS IT ALWAYS MY TROUSER-SNAKE THAT NEEDS TO BE HURT?" wailed Jiraiya avoiding another skewer and jumped over another cobra.

It was up to Tsunade now as she went for a flying tackle and managed to get Naruto by the legs.

"No Naruto, don't go to the ramen!"

"But I must, I MUST HAVE MY PRECIOUS!"

"IS YOUR LIFE REALLY WORTH THE RAMEN?"

"YES!" Tsunade merely paused at the last statement.

"Alright, EVERYONE EVACUATE THE BUILDING BEFORE THE DEMON FOX IS RELEASED!" In an instant, every villager in the shopping center had ran for their lives out of the building. Quickly speeding out of the building herself, the Hokage ran for it and jumped at the front door.

"It's all mine, my own…my precious!" squealed Naruto (yes he squealed). However as soon as he got within 10 paces, a random ethereal Chinese voice spoke out.

"Death by ramen within 10 paces." Naruto merely looked around for the voice, not noticing that the ramen had started to glow.

Tsunade had just jumped out the supermarket front door when the whole building went up in a blazing inferno. Rolling across the ground before getting to her feet, she covered her eyes as the smoke slowly died away.

When it finally cleared, it revealed the blonde lying on the ground, unharmed thanks to the Kyuubi of course still clutching the blackened ashes of what used to be the cups of ramen.

"Why!!" exclaimed Naruto as he continued to cry over his ramen. Little did he know that this would be the complete ruining of his reputation as a shinobi in the eyes of everyone present today.

Tsunade turned to Jiraiya who currently pulling out skewers from his friend down below. "You are going to fix that seal." Jiraiya waved his hands in defence.

"I can't, you told me to put a one month time limit on it to see if he'd eat anything else." Tsunade sighed.

"Well, take him out of the village then before he goes into another supermarket." Jiraiya nodded before walking up to the blonde who was currently lying on the ground next to the ramen.

"Come on Naruto, it's time to let the ramen go." Naruto merely continued to lie on the ground.

"The ramen was my friend…and it betrayed me…IT WAS MY FRIEND!" Merely deciding to listen to what the blonde had to say, the white-haired Sannin stayed silent.

"I swear, when I find out who's responsible for the destruction of my ramen, I'll find him, and then I'll kill him." All of a sudden Jiraiya felt very nervous as he wisely decided to…help the Yondaime look-alike for the time being.

"Hey Naruto, how about I teach a new jutsu, it would help you in your battle against…well, the one destroying your ramen." In an instant, Naruto had jumped up, his eyes glinting with determination.

"Alright, let's go!" The two ninjas leapt off in a burst of speed and jumped over the walls, Naruto following Jiraiya. Once the two were far away enough in a secluded area outside the village, Tsunade began the orders for all the ramen to be sent to other countries.

"Alright now Naruto, this jutsu is called the Hari no Jinzo, or Needle Guardian. The hand seals are as following." As the Sannin performed the hand-signs, Naruto couldn't help but notice that he couldn't really make out the hand-signs that well, nor could he remember what the Sannin had just said…not that he listened to Jiraiya much anyways.

"Alright Naruto, your turn." Naruto brought his hands together as he started doing the hand-signs…or what he thought were the hand-signs. Jiraiya noticed that Naruto was doing completely different hand-signs to what he had shown the blonde.

"Naruto what are you…"

"HARI NO JINZO!"

Well…needles were grown, the jutsu worked…and Jiraiya had needles all over his body, a lot particularly being embedded in his thing down below.

"AHHH, NARUTO, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" Passing out from the shock of having multiple needles shear through his….thing, Naruto could only wince and cover his privates from fear of the jutsu, before rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment…until he realized he was rubbing nothing but his scalp.

It was then that he looked around and noticed there were yellow needles everywhere. Rushing towards a nearby lake, he looked into the water's reflection…to see the fact that he was completely bald…

"DAMN YOU ERO-SENNIN!"


	3. Mentality and Destruction

_Aito: Once again, thanks to all the further reviews. In this chapter, everyone's mentality will be tested to the absolute limit, and a lot of characters make an appearance._

**Chapter 3: Mentality and Destruction**

"Damn Ero-Sennin," muttered Naruto as he walked back to Konoha, his bald head sparkling in the light of the afternoon sun. However, it was by sheer coincidence that two other people had happened to see the sparkle and decided to investigate...

"Gai-sensei, what do you think was that sparkly light?" asked Lee as tey were jumping towards the source of the flashing.

"It must be a sign of youthfulness, for that sparkle to be shinier than even my shiny teeth! We must find this source and congratulate this person on his youthfulness!"

"Oh Gai-Sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-Sensei!" And just like that, the sunset came into effect as the two went into what Naruto had deemed the 'friendly man-hug'. Which was how the blonde found the two, and immediately averted his eyes.

"Musn't look, or suffer permanent mental disorder..." muttered Naruto before pausing. Where in the world had that sentence come from...and what the hell was a 'permanent mental disorder' anyways?

"Ah, it is Naruto...what happened to your hair?" Both Gai and Lee stared at the shiny round surface that was Naruto's head.

"Well, uh...you see, a jutsu went wrong and I sort of lost all my hair..." The two spandex-clad shinobis continued to stare at the bald Naruto.

"Oh come on, it's not that bad is it?" Now that sentence got a response from both.

"The lack of a beautfil hair such as ours is MOST UNYOUTHFUL! HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITHOUT SUCH A HAIRSTYLE AS MINE! LEE, AVERT YOUR EYES!"

"But it's so shiny..." murmured Lee as he was slowly walking towards Naruto.

"Lee, what are you doing?" asked Naruto nervously slowly backing away from the younger spandex-clad ninja.

"Lee, you mustn't look into the unyouthful light! Don't go into the light!" cried Gai using his Sharingan fighting skills to see where everyone was moving without looking above the shoulders of anyone.

"The light is so shiny...can't look away, must stare...how can this light not be youthful?" murmured Lee as though he were in a trance, moving towards the light of Naruto's shiny head.

"Oh damn this day just gets better and better," muttered Naruto as he paused and wondered where the hell he was getting this random mental state...then wondered how the hell he had the intelligence to wonder on where he was getting his random mental state...before wondering how the hell he had the intelligence to wonder on how he had the intelligence to wonder on where he was getting his mental state. This thought process continued in an unguarded loop for quite sometime before he noticed that there were a pair of hands rubbing his head.

"It's so shiny..." murmured Lee while rubbing Naruto's bald head.

"Oh damn it, I'm getting out of here," muttered Naruto running away as Lee started chasing him.

"No Lee, DON'T FOLLOW THE UNYOUTHFUL SHINY HEAD!" shouted Gai.

"MY HEAD IS NOT SHINY DAMN IT!"

"YES IT IS, ITS SO SHINY AND YOUTHFUL!"

"IT IS MOST UNYOUTHFUL, LEE, SNAP OUT OF IT!" shouted Gai.

Unfortunately this was when Neji and Tenten decided to make their entrance also as they were mesmerized and stunned at the sight of Naruto's baldness...only to be knocked over by Lee as he knocked them over.

Unfortunately for Neji however, when falling, his hands landed on a certain part of the female anatomy that usually results in a painful beating. It took approximately 5 seconds to realise where his hands where, before he went red and jumped up, chasing after Lee.

It took another 5 seconds for Tenten to register where Neji's hands had been, before taking out a pair of kunai and started chasing after Neji.

"DAMN YOU FOR KNOCKING ME OVER LEE!"

"COME BACK HERE NEJI! I SWEAR I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Naruto turned his head around and noticed the growing crowd of people that were chasing him and continued to run for his life, only to turn back around and bump into Chouji at the village gate...incidentally knocking over his stack of barbeque meat in the process.

"_Oh damn it..." _thought Naruto paling as Chouji remained silent.

"You have disturbed the rest of my barbeque meat. You cannot hope to understand how angry the power of the food is...and they demand that I KICK YOUR ASS!" The large ninja went through a series of hand-seals before expanding to the size of a gigantic ball and started rolling at the blonde.

"OH CRAP, SHIKAMARU OPEN THE DAMN GATE!" The lazy ninja who had been on the other side shot awake and grumbled about annyoing loudmouth ninjas before opening the gate...only to see Naruto running for his life along with a super-sized meatball rolling behind him.

Shikamaru's eyes widened as Naruto grabbed his arm and started running also.

"What'd you do that was troublesome enough to make Chouji tried to kill you?"

"Uh...I sorta knocked over his plate of barbeque." Shikamaru sighed while they were still running.

"You interfered with the power of the food. Considering he's not going to stop until he gets you, I think the best course of action would just be to give you to him."

"WHAT? YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT GIVING ME TO A GIGANTIC BALL OF FAT SO HE CAN RUN ME OVER...oh crap." Chouji seemed to double in size as he sped up.

"I AM NOT FAT!!" screamed the...big-boned ninja as he rolled faster.

"Well, nice knowing you Naruto, Kagemane no Jutsu." The shadow streaked towards Naruto, who decided to quickly make a series of shadow clones so he could escape. However, for some reason, instead Naruto disappeared and was replaced with...Ino?

"Damn Naruto and his Kawarimi no Jutsu," muttered Shikamaru bracing himself as Chouji rolled flat over Ino, causing Shikamaru to replicate the movement as his face made a very nice splat against the ground.

"Shikamaru..." Shikamaru grumbled at the pain in his face before running after Naruto.

"Oh he is so dead, damn troublesome guy."

"OI SHIKAMARU!" shouted a voice from behind him. Shikamaru nervously turned around to see Ino charging at him with a kunai.

"_Oh damn it, this is even more troublesome," _thought Shikamaru nervously as he sped up.

"I have to make it to granny Tsunade and tell her to grow back my hair!" thought Naruto as he ran towards the Hokage Tower. In order, it was Naruto running towards the Hokage Tower, being chased by Chouji in meat-tank form, then Shikamaru who merely wanted to get back at Naruto and was being chased by Ino who was directly behind him. Lee was running behind the group trying to reach for Naruto's shiny bald head again, Gai was behind him trying to get him to stop, Neji was running after Lee to get him and running for his life from Tenten who was sporting a pair of kunai and chasing after him.

Finally reaching the doors to the Hokage Tower, Naruto rushed in, only to find Tsunade amongst what must've been all the ramen in the village. Tsunade froze at seeing Naruto and shouted out for him not to move.

Naruto froze, only for Chouji to burst through the front door, but stopped upon sensing the power of the food tell him there was a strong presence and saw the ramen. Reverting to his normal size, he started eating with gusto.

Nexy was Shikamaru who burst in and ran around hiding behind Naruto, who was forced to dodge several kunai stabs from Ino. That was when Lee came in, beat Ino to a pulp and started patting Naruto's head, who was forced to endure the whole procedure. Gai then came in and started to drag Lee away, only for Neji to bowl into Lee, bowling him into Naruto, and knocking him into the pile of ramen.

Tsunade froze and immediately used Shunshin to get out of the room as the ramen started glowing. Naruto also noticed and ran out of the room as fast as possible. Lee followed suit and everyone chasing Naruto or Lee also jumped out of the building...meaning everyone.

A few seconds afterwards, the entire Hokage Tower went up in a massive explosion. Tsunade turned around and saw the rubble of the tower and sighed. If this was how bad the village was going to be affected by Naruto and his lack of ramen, then the world would be a lot better off it the blonde was eating it.

That was when Jiraiya appeared, with a grimace on his face and froze when he saw the destroyed Hokage tower and Tsunade with a very unpleased look on his face. Pouring her frustration into a single kick, she slammed her foot between Jiraiya's legs, noticing that she didn't hit anything and paled.

"What happened?" asked Tsunade completely both afraid and weirded out by the fact that Jiraiya was obviously no longer a male.

"You don't want to know, it's too painful even thinking about it."

"Whatever...just fix his seal, I can't take this anymore."

"Believe me, that's the best thing you could've said right now."


	4. UCHIHA

_Aito: Well, here's chapter 4. Sorry about the delay. I had the idea for the chapter running through my head for a while now, but it took me a while to think of a proper setting...until now, well anyways, enjoy! Oh yeah, thanks to all the reviewers. Can't believe I already have 900 hits on this story..._

**Chapter 4: UCHIHA**

Naruto once again found himself lying on an operational table while Jiraiya held an ink-brush painting on top of Naruto's stomach. He didn't mind once again being able to eat ramen again, but there was one thing that was annoying him.

"Yo Ero-Sennin, can you stop with the cackling? And what's with the constant 'it's alive, it's alive' you keep on going on about? It's not like I'm some kind of undead thing or something," commented Naruto as Jiraiya merely continued to cackle on as a bolt of lightning struck the ground nearby.

"Aren't you done yet?" asked Tsunade who was sitting to one side. Jiraiya glared at the woman.

"Sealing is an art alright? Only the most experienced and wisest beings may undertake this science!"

"Then why the hell are you doing it?"

"Oh shut up, I'd like to see you do better. Any mistake, and the seal could go BOOM!" shouted Jiraiya throwing his hands into the air, accidentally spilling a whole load of ink onto Naruto's stomach.

"Oh crap," muttered Jiraiya as the seal glowed red, before Naruto stood up. Tsunade glared at Jiraiya before walking up to Naruto.

"Well Naruto, how do you feel?" Naruto merely gazed passively at the blonde medic before his head drooped.

"Life is so depressing, how do I even live like this?" With that said, the previously hyperactive ninja began trudging his way through the village. Tsunade turned back to Jiraiya, cracking her knuckles deviously.

"Now, now Tsunade, it's not like you can hit me _there _anymore and expect me to feel pain, can you now?" asked Jiraiya grinning. Tsunade sighed.

"You're right, I can't hit you there. But I can do this, CHAKRA SCALPEL STYLE, 1000 YEARS OF DEATH!" With a swing of her hand, Tsunade's chakra infused hand went up into Jiraiya's ass, sending him flying through the air as though he were a bird.

_Meanwhile..._

Neji was training his Byakugan as he continued to examine the trees in front of him.

"There are eight birds within a 50 metre radius of us." Tenten threw an exploding kunai into the sky, which detonated, sending a loud noise through the forest as eight birds flew up into the air. Tenten looked up to see the birds.

"Wait Neji, there are nine birds." The Hyuga looked up (not that he needed to with 360 degree vision and everything) and zoomed in on the ninth bird.

"That isn't a bird, it's a man who has his kidneys and other excretion systems blocked and is missing his..." started Neji before paling and covering his privates instinctively. Tenten noticed Neji's paler than normal look and frowned.

"What's he missing?" Neji merely shook his head before merely saying something Tenten would never have expected the Hyuga to say:

"Fate is so kind to me."

_Back to Naruto..._

The blonde continued to walk through the streets downcast, his eyes looking down as all he could think about was how terrible life was as a sudden thought entered his mind.

"_I must have black clothes, eyeshadow, hair extensions, black hair dye and numerous scalpels." _Finally reaching a coherent thought, the blonde continued walking, already thinking that fate would screw him over and not deliver such a store when he stopped in front of a store which immediately crushed those thoughts.

"The Emporium For Emos? Handling all your emo clothes, looks and needs..." The old Naruto would've wondered just who would even open a store like this, but the new Naruto merely shrugged and entered the store.

Once inside, the blonde came across numerous rows of black clothes, knives, scalpels, eyeshadow and hair dye. And that was when Sasuke walked up to him.

"Hey dobe, what are you...what happened to your hair?" Sasuke was trying hard not to claw his eyes out at the shinyness of Naruto's scalp.

"Get the hell out of here dobe, your shiny scalp is ruining the emo shui of my store."

"First of all, MY HEAD IS NOT SHINY! Wait...your store?" Sasuke smirked before nodding.

"Damn straight, I own the most emo goods in the village as well as being the founder of the UCHIHA clan." Naruto paused.

"But, wouldn't you need to be like...over 150 to be the founder of your clan?" Sasuke paused before hitting Naruto on his very shiny head.

"Not that Uchiha clan, the UCHIHA clan!" Naruto paused.

"Um, I don't really see the difference." Sasuke sighed and pointed below him.

"Maybe if you actually bothered to read the stupid subtitles for once, you'd realise that there's a difference between the two."

"What the hell are you talking about, the only difference is that one is in capitals!"

"That's the point!"

"Never mind, just explain the Uchiha thing to me."

"Which one?"

"The one that's not about your family!"

"Oh, that's the one with the capitols."

"Just get on with it already!"

"Alright, alright!" shouted Sasuke before realizing it was very un-emolike of him to shout out loud.

"Well, anyways, I started the UCHIHA clan. It's abbreviated." Taking a shirt from one of the stacks, he showed Naruto the shirt.

It read the following:

**Unhappy**

**Cynical**

**Homies**

**In**

**Hellish**

**Agendas**

"Yeah, we're all unhappy and we just hang out a lot." Naruto paused.

"Well, now I know you weren't gay when we were in class together. Anyways, you must teach me the ways of the emo." Sasuke smirked.

"It's about time. But first..." Naruto frowned as he recognised that look.

"We need to give you a makeover!" Naruto sighed.

"You know what, I take back that comment about you not being gay."


	5. When Things Go Wrong

_Aito: Well, here's chapter 5. Personally, I consider this an interlude to the next arc of entertainment. Also, thanks to all the further reviews. Enjoy!_

**Chapter 5: When Things Go Wrong...**

"Alright. First, we're going to work on your clothes." Naruto frowned.

"As much my brain is telling me to go with the black, I think I'll just stick with the orange for now." Sasuke merely stared at Naruto as though he'd grown a second head. Naruto noticed the look also and frowned.

"What is it?" Sasuke continued to stare at Naruto.

"Are you seriously kidding me? Your clothes are so bright, they scream "Look, I'm over here, kill me now!" Not to mention the fact that your clothes would probably want to make tigers try to mate with you." Naruto growled.

"DON'T INSULT MY CLOTHES! AND TIGERS DO NOT TRY TO MATE WITH ME!" Sasuke smirked.

"Then what's that tiger doing?" Naruto looked down to see a tiger clinging to his leg and froze.

"AHHH, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!" The blonde continued to flail his leg around wildly until the tiger flew off the leg, flying in midair before colliding with the window. Sasuke walked over to the window and examined it.

"Hmm, so windows really don't break if you get a non-frozen object and throw it at them." Naruto scratched his head.

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke noticed Naruto staring and waved his hands.

"Oh nothing, just something to do with a cannon, a frozen chicken and a window. Anyways, next, comes the hair dye." Naruto simply pointed at his shiny head again, which made Sasuke wince and cover his eyes from the light.

"Damn it Naruto, cover your damn head before I spray paint it for you!" Naruto sighed and grabbed a nearby beanie and pulled it on. Sasuke threw a few more clothes at Naruto, and gestured for him to enter the changing room.

_10 Minutes Later.._

Sasuke was lounging around when Naruto finally came out. Sasuke's jaw dropped. No-one would've ever believed it was possible; Naruto looked even more emo than Sasuke did. The blonde was wearing a cut-up baggy pair of black pants, a black jacket with shredded sleeves torn off at the shoulder, a grey undershirt with UCHIHA on it and a black beanie along with eyeshadow. In short, Naruto had become the ultimate emo.

"Damn it dobe, how could you have surpassed me yet again?" asked Sasuke to himself as he continued to glare at Naruto.

"Well anyways, let's meet the gang," said Sasuke dragging Naruto behind him as they entered through a secret door to see a group of emo-looking people. What surprised Naruto was how many of them he recognised. There was Neji, Shikamaru, Kakashi...but the most surprising of all of them was Lee. Naruto opted to remain emo for the moment as he took a spot in the circle.

Sasuke nodded before standing in the center of the circle.

"Alright guys, the 57th meeting of the UCHIHA clan is now in session, we will now go around and talk about what makes us emo. Oh yes, and we have a new member, everyone say hello to Naruto."

"Naruto?" asked nearly all of the group in unison, shocked to see the usually happy ninja sitting with them, looking just as emo as anyone else in the room.

"All right, let's start with you Kakashi."

"Yo, I'm Kakashi. Well, the reason I'm here is because my best friend died when I was younger than 10, I've killed over 500 people before turning 10, making me into a mental sociopath, I can't get any when it comes to social relationships and my books keep on getting owned." Everyone else merely nodded or shrugged, muttering about how their own problems sucked more.

"Next, we have Shikamaru."

"Well, I'm just here because life is just troublesome. Oh yeah, and for the weed too." Everyone else this time nodded in agreement as Naruto wondered what on Earth 'weed' was.

"Next, Lee."

"Well, to put it in short, I'll probably never make it as a good ninja because I can't use chakra, I can't get a date for some odd reason and for some reason I'm now attracted to shiny objects..." Naruto wondered just where on Earth this side of Lee had come from as Sasuke pointed to the next guy...a robot?

"Marvin, you're up."

"I can't be bothered, life is just too depressing." Everyone could merely nod in agreement.

"Ok, finally, Naruto."

"Well, to begin with, I can't eat ramen because of a seal and I'm suffering from memory loss and vision defection, and I'm bald." Everyone nodded before Sasuke coughed.

"Finally, now...the weed!" In record time, everyone had a pipe out as numerous leaves flew everywhere as people started catching them, before lighting their pipes and smoking the weed.

Naruto finally realised what they were referring to when they kept on mentioning weed.

"Sasuke, where'd you get all this?"

"Dobe, we're living in the village hidden in the leaves. You'd think someone would realise some of those leaves had to be weed. Add the fact I killed that plant Akatsuki guy and found his little brother that is basically a living marijuana plant, I've got enough weed to last a lifetime." It was then that Naruto looked up and noticed a figure in a cage, having numerous blades going through it.

"Never mind, anyways, have a go." Naruto lit the match and was about to put it in the pipe when Jiraiya came crashing through the ceiling and slammed into the ground.

"Ow..." Everyone instantly hid their weed, afraid of what might happen if the Sannin saw it. A few seconds later, Jiraiya got up and looked around.

"Ok...just where am I?" Marvin instantly sighed.

"I knew life was depressing." Through his eyes, he scanned that a large amount of methane was escaping through the pores of his skin. That, and Naruto forgot to put out his match.

With an instant ignition, the building went up in an explosion as the match reacted with the methane from Jiraiya. After all, who doesn't know that flame added to methane equals a large explosion?

Surprisingly though, no-one was injured from the explosion. However, it was then that Sasuke noticed something...a burnt pile of leaves.

"NOOO, MY MARIJUANA PLANT!! MY WEED IS ALL GONE!" Jiraiya sat next to Sasuke and patted his back as he mourned the loss of his precious weed. That was when Sasuke glared at Jiraiya, his Sharingan modifying into the Mangekyou. Jiraiya merely paled.

"Oh damn..." started Jiraiya before finding himself chained to a cross with Sasuke standing in front of him.

"What are you going to do to me?" asked Jiraiya.

"For the next 72 hours, you will experience your privates being regrown and cut off in different ways...over and over again." Sasuke took out a kunai and a spiked chain as Jiraiya squealed like a girl.

Back in the real world, Jiraiya squealed before fainting instantly, going comatose. It also then that a jounin appeared at the rubble of Sasuke's shop and ran up to Sasuke.

"Um, Uchiha-san, Haruno-san is labor." Sasuke's head, as well as everyone's shot to the jounin's.

"How? And why does this concern me?" The jounin sighed.

"Well...she refused to go into the specifics, but apparently...the baby is yours."

There was an extremely long silence, before Sasuke fainted, and everyone else merely continued to stare at the jounin.

_Aito: Bet no-one was expecting that eh? Well, tune in next time to see what happens. And if you're feeling really nice, you'll click on the little button in the bottom left hand corner to review..._


	6. Loss Of The Precious

_Aito: Thanks again to all reviewers. Anyways, the confusion and chaos continues in this chapter...enjoy! (Tsunade finds out, attacks Sasuke, Naruto responds with summoning jutsu, ends up summoning ever Icha Icha book in the world, and they are all disintegrated. Jiraiya breaks down, goes emo._

**Chapter 6: Loss Of The Precious**

"Wait a minute..." started Naruto while they were carrying the unconscious Sasuke on the way to the hospital.

"What is it now Naruto?" mumbled Shikamaru, still grumbling about having to be the one that carried the bulk of Sasuke's weight.

"If Sasuke got Sakura pregnant," started Naruto while Lee was crying over how Sasuke had tainted Sakura's 'purity of youth' and how that he had lost to Sasuke. Ignoring the spandex-clad even more emo than usual taijutsu expert, Naruto continued.

"As I was saying, if...um, you-know-who knocked up the other you-know-who...wouldn't that mean that he isn't gay?" Shikamaru's eyes widened as he came to the same realisation.

"But that means..." They both looked at a nearby cup of water, and noticed as ripples appeared every now and then.

"Oh no..." started Naruto.

"It's coming."

"What's coming?" asked Neji.

"What is quite possibly the deadliest form known to man. No man can withstand or survive this attack," mumbled Shikamaru already running towards the hospital, no longer worrying about Sasuke's health as he dragged the unconscious Uchiha behind him on the ground.

"Wait for me Shikamaru, TAKE ME WITH YOU!" shouted Naruto running after him. Neji stood where he was, and immediately activated his Byakugan.

"Fine, I will deal with this threat. It isn't possible for such a thing to exist anyways..." started Neji before his 360 degree vision revealed what would haunt his visions and dreams forever.

Fangirls.

Lots of fangirls.

And they were pissed.

Now, there are a few things one should know about fangirls. The first fact is that they are very melodramatic. If their idol does something wrong, they will cry over it endlessly. The second is if their idol is available or in danger, they know and will appear almost instantly. The third and final fact is that when angered enough, the first thing they see will suffer their immediate and maximised wrath.

That person just happened to be Neji.

"No...get away, stay back, no, no, NOOOOOOO!"

Kakashi sighed as he was running along with the trio carrying Sasuke as they continued running towards the hospital.

"And then there were 5..." It was then that they noticed that the sounds of stomping feet were getting louder as they continued running.

"It appears that we're being hunted," muttered Shikamaru. Lee suddenly stopped running and turned around. Naruto noticed and stopped also.

"Lee what are you doing?"

"Sasuke has bested me in winning Sakura's heart. That much is obvious. I will hold them off, if only for a short while." Naruto shrugged and turned around.

"Sure, whatever...go nuts." Everyone else merely sweatdropped.

"Um Naruto, I would appreciate some sort of encouragement or thanks..."

"Too late for that, every second wasted here is one we can't afford to lose, come on guys!" shouted Naruto dragging his friends along with him.

"Bring it on...fangirls, I am prepared." Lee stood his ground as the stampeding herd of girls drew closer. Yet Lee continued to stand where he was and prepared to push them back. But the girls continued running forward. Which was when Lee's resolve broke.

"No, I can't do this...no, no, AHHH!"

Everyone heard the screams of yet another tortured guy.

Kakashi sighed again.

"And then there were 4, although why I'm counting Sasuke since he's unconscious is beyond me."

"WOULD YOU STOP SAYING THAT?" shouted both Naruto and Shikamaru at the same time. Kakashi glanced at both of them in confusion.

"Which part?" It was finally then that Sasuke decided to wake up.

"Welcome back to the world of the living Sasuke, and congratulations on being a father." Sasuke paled before spluttering.

"Wait just a minute, how the hell can I be a father? I haven't even done it with anyone yet!" Naruto and Shikamaru glanced at each other and sighed in relief.

"So he is still gay," muttered both in unison before a loud chorus of screams were heard, before a multitude of thuds that only came from a large group of fangirls suffering heart attacks falling to the ground.

"I AM NOT GAY!" shouted Sasuke. In an instant, a loud thump signified the girls being revived from that comment and preparing to charge forward again.

"Yes you are," started Naruto. Another thud.

"Am not!" Another thud.

"Are too!" Another thud.

"AM NOT!" Thud.

"ARE TOO!" Thud.

"Look, as much as I'd like to hear you guys ranting about Sasuke's homophobic tendencies, we really should stop making those fangirls fall down continuously. Naruto and Sasuke glanced at the fangirls who were now sporting large bumps on their head.

"Right, let's get to the hospital." Shikamaru nodded as they continued on their way to the hospital, before entering. Sasuke ran up to the desk immediately.

"Tell me, what room is Sakura Haruno in?" The nurse glanced at the clipboard and trailed a finger down until she reached the name.

"Ah, here we are...room 21B. And congratulations on the baby Uchiha-san. Oh, by the way, she's already had it. I must say, I've never seen an Uchiha with pink hair." Sasuke froze.

"Pink...hair?" A thud signified that Sasuke had fainted again. Shikamaru sighed before falling on his rear end.

"Forget it, I'm not carrying him again, you do it Naruto."

"I'm not carrying him."

"I'll do it. Besides, I want to see this mini-version of Sasuke with pink hair." Naruto smirked.

"It'll be an improvement over the time I got him with yellow hair-dye."

Shikamaru chuckled at the thought of Sasuke with yellow hair before sighing and getting up.

"As troublesome as walking is, I'll admit I want to see this too." All four nodded before going to room 21B.

Getting to the second floor, they quickly found the room and entered...before promptly breaking down in laughter.

They had prepared themselves for what they presumed would be a normal baby with pink hair. What they got was a baby whose head was half the size of its total size, pink hair, an extremely large forehead and a permanent frown.

Sakura glared at Naruto laughing on the ground and scowled.

"You know, if I wasn't in this bed right now, I would so kick you in the groin right now." Naruto gulped and got back in line. That was when Sasuke woke up again. As soon as he saw the baby, he froze. Sakura took the freezing as that of surprise and awe.

"I know Sasuke, isn't he the most adorable baby you've ever seen?"

"That's a he? Where's his...uh, you know..." Everyone then noticed that the baby was missing something. Sasuke desperately turned on his Sharingan in hopes of seeing it, but still couldn't see it.

"Even with my Sharingan, I can't see it," commented Kakashi as he withdrew a 100x magnification telescope from his mask. Naruto was intrigued.

"Just how did you fit that in there sensei?" Ignoring Naruto's question for now, Kakashi continued to examine until he finally found it.

"I finally found it...but it's so tiny...what on Earth is the boy going to do?" Sakura finally realised what they were talking about and went red with rage.

"I'm pretty sure you guys don't have ones that big either. And I'll bet Sasuke's is bigger than all of yours combined."

"Actually, his one is even smaller than the baby's." Everyone turned to the window to see Sai hanging on the windowsill.

"What? You're joking right? You're saying Sasuke's thing is smaller than that baby's?" Everyone stared at the baby, then back at Sasuke, before giving their own reaction. Which was either breaking down in laughter, going red with rage or activating a bloodline.

"Even dickless has a bigger one than Sasuke." Naruto turned around slowly, before cracking his knuckles.

"I thought I told you not to call me that...Sasuke, Sakura?" The other two nodded as they simultaneously punched or kicked Sai between the legs, sending him out the window and down to the ground, where he fell in a crumpled heap.

Grumbling about volatile people with small...things, Sai stood up before noticing a large shadow over him and turned around to see...a lot of fangirls.

For the first time in his life, Sai screamed as he ran for his life. Kakashi sighed.

"4 went up to 5, then back down to 4." Meanwhile, Naruto realised something.

"So Sakura...just how did you get pregnant if Sasuke didn't do the thing with you?" Sakura blushed.

"Well, back on our first mission to the land of Waves, when I saw Sasuke dead on the ground, I thought I'd lost him. Then I noticed the needles in his...um...thing and plucked them out before storing them..." her interruption was halted by Tsunade punching through the door.

"What's this I hear about my apprentice being a mother now? Sasuke Uchiha, you will pay for this. ACID WAVE JUTSU!" Unfortunately, the wave was too large for a small space and threatened to encompass the whole room. Naruto quickly reacted and bit his thumb before smearing blood on his palm. However, he failed to notice his finger running along the back of Kakashi's book as he did so. Nor did he account for the fact his vision still hadn't returned.

As such, he did complete random hand signs before slamming his palm into the ground.

"SUMMONING JUTSU!" However, instead of a large toad, a large pile of books appeared in front of Naruto. Kakashi's own book popped out of his hand and into the pile, causing the jounin to look up and immediately drool upon seeing what must've been every Icha Icha Paradise book in the known world. That was when he saw the acid wave coming.

"NOOOO!" screamed Kakashi as he jumped for a single book, but it was too late. The wave ate through the pile of books like a crocodile through rice paper. Kakashi wasn't the only one who screamed. Somehow, every man that owned one suddenly broke down in tears for some reason as they knew what had happened.

Fortunately, the books were rather absorbent and as such, no one got harmed. That was when Naruto sensed a great spike of killer intent behind him and turned around to see Kakashi, his Sharingan flaring.

"So...Naruto...you have destroyed my precious...do you know what's going to happen to you now?" Naruto merely chuckled nervously...before backing away and jumped through the window, running for his life from the murderous jounin who merely smirked demonically.

"The hunt is on, and after this, there will only be 3." Smiling deviously, the jounin reached into his mask before pulling out a chainsaw that let off a chilling racket. On the side, it stated 'Texas, 999 kills' in blood as Kakashi disappeared in a swirl of leaves, eager on hunting the blonde container down.

_Aito: Well that's it for chapter 6. Next chapter, the hunt...is on._


	7. Festival Of The Hunt

_Aito: Sorry about the delay, but it took ages for a setting to finally come to me. Anyways, sorry about the accidental placing of the draft copy in the last chapter, I won't place any revealings in this one. And thanks to all reviewers. Anyways, enjoy!_

**Chapter 7: The Festival Of The Hunt**

Naruto was running, jumping from building to building, determined not to turn around and look for whatever was making the very odd rumbling sound that sounded like a lawnmower. That was when he noticed an ominous glow in the distance also.

He peered forward while jumping and paled at seeing a large band of villagers...what must've been probably every villager in the village...including a majority of the females too.

"_There is no way all of them read Kakashi-sensei's perverted book!" _thought Naruto desperately as he realised that they were walking towards his house, while he was jumping in the opposite direction.

"Oh my gosh they're so stupid, they're going the wrong way!" That was when every villager turned around and saw Naruto. By this time, Naruto had finally realized he had said that out loud before instantly jumping over to a nearby rooftop, barely avoiding another swipe from Kakashi's chainsaw.

"Why the hell is everyone chasing me today anyways? Hang on...what day is it today?" Suddenly, out of nowhere, a calendar floated down in front of his face. Ignoring the fact a calendar had come down from the sky, Naruto grabbed the calendar and examined it.

"Hey...it's my birthday today! Oh...that's why." Naruto shrugged as he realised it was the yearly 'hunt down the demon boy' festival. Sighing, the blonde tossed the calendar aside before continuing to run...or he would've, except for two things which halted him in his endeavour momentarily.

The first was that the calendar had somehow become stuck to his hands.

The second was that the calendar was made out of exploding tags and was currently fizzing away.

"Oh crap, oh crap, get off, get off, get off!" exclaimed Naruto slamming his hands against a wall repeatedly, to no avail. Thinking quickly, Naruto smirked before using his hands, he formed the cross seal.

"Shadow Clone Jutsu!" With a poof of smoke, an identical Naruto without his hands stuck together appeared.

"Now, use replacement with the magazine!" shouted Naruto as his clone formed the necessary handseals and with another poof, Naruto fell backwards from the weight of his clone while the calendar floated in mid-air. The clone Naruto let the calendar fall on top of his head, where it attached itself.

"Now, transform into a copy of Icha Icha!" The clone merely nodded before using transformation to appear as a copy of the perverted book. Picking up a part of the book which Naruto hoped wasn't really the calendar in disguise, he aimed the book at a certain mask-wearing chainsaw wielder.

"FREE ICHA ICHA!" shouted Naruto tossing the book into the air. Immediately, every male shinobi in the vicinity looked up and jumped at the book, getting into a massive scuffle before the book was revealed, in Kakashi's back pocket.

"Hahaha, the last Icha Icha is mine...ALL MINE!" shouted Kakashi maniacally swinging the chainsaw around before throwing it away and reaching for the book, only to find it stuck on his butt.

"What the...?" wondered Kakashi to himself as the timer finally went off. Naruto could only cover his ears and think of one thing before the tags detonated.

"One thousand years of death, exploding tag variant."

In an instant, a silver shooting star flew across the sky...during broad daylight, and continued to fly onwards until it was impaled onto the ceremonial kunai statue...before shooting back up again and crashing into the ground in a disfigured heap.

Naruto clapped his hands as though he were getting rid of dust and turned around, making to move away before a spear flew out of the sky and embedded itself in the ground...just in front of him. Naruto let out an eep before jumping into the air as a fireball also slammed into the ground where he'd been standing.

Looking around for anymore danger, Naruto quickly threw two kunai at a pair of knives that were thrown at him before finally touching back onto the ground, where the strangest group of people that Naruto could've ever admit to have seen where in front of him.

First off, the one who had thrown the spear had a tail...and another member of the group had a tail, then there was the random floating little girl with a horn on her head. Then there was the short random one with a staff which looked like one of Orochimaru's Level 2 Cursed Seal Forms. Seeing the little one was what instantly caused Naruto to flare up his chakra as he prepared to fight.

"I will hunt you down now monster! For the glory of the hunt!" shouted the red coated figure.

"Um, Freya, can you not see that it's a human over there?"

"Yeah, even if he does hurt my eyes with that disgusting orange jumpsuit." Naruto was slowly simmering by now.

"He's quite cute though...although he's too short for my liking."

"HEY, I AM NOT SHORT! I'M JUST VERTICALLY CHALLENGED!"

"Tell me about it, people just don't understand us vertically challenged blondes these days." Naruto turned around to see another blonde in a red coat accompanied by what appeared to be a moving set of armour.

"Who the heck are you?" asked Naruto.

"Name's Edward, and my brother Alphonse." Naruto looked around for another figure, only seeing the metal suit of armour.

"Well...where's your brother, I don't see him anywhere?" Edward sighed.

"Um...my brother's the metal armour." Naruto merely stared at the armour.

"Woah...you must have some mixed up parents." Edward and Alphonse looked down slightly at this . Naruto caught the look of loneliness in their eyes and looked down also.

"Orphans as well?" Both continued looking down. They stayed that way until Edward finally noticed the group that was behind Naruto.

"Man...if my head was blocky and THAT proportional to my body, I'd feel even worse than I was now." The blonde in the group of the hunters took offense to that and leapt forward.

"Oi, it's not my fault our creator made us this way!" Naruto turned around.

"You mean your parents?" The blonde scratched his head.

"Um no...the developer who made us obvious...and the graphics artist too."

"What on Earth is a graphics artist?" asked Naruto.

"What on Terra is Earth?" asked the blonde.

"What on Earth is Terra?" asked Naruto.

"I swear, all blondes are idiots," muttered Edward sighing. Both then turned around and bashed him on the head.

"YOU'RE A BLONDE TOO YOU IDIOT!"

"At least I'm taller than both of you." The blonde and Naruto merely looked at each other, then Naruto reached into his pocket and withdrew a collapsible scale chart that went up to 2m tall, as the other blonde withdrew one also.

"Height chart, never leave home without it when you're confronted with these situations," said Naruto grinning.

All three took turns measuring themselves.

"Ahaha, I'm the tallest at 5 feet!" exclaimed the unknown blonde jumping up and down.

"I'm 4 feet 7, darn...still close though," muttered Edward.

"I am...4 feet 8!! I'm not the shortest, WOOHOO!" exclaimed Naruto jumping up and down with the other blonde while Edward sat dejectedly in a corner.

"You're still short for a human, Zidane," commented the black figure which reminded Naruto of a level 2 curse seal.

"Shut up Vivi! There are some tall blondes too!"

"Like who?"

"Like me." Everyone turned this time to see a figure wielding an extremely super-sized sword as he hopped down to the ground. There were two things that Naruto immediately noticed.

The first was that he was blonde.

The second was that he was tall.

"Hurray for the new guy who shows not all blondes are short!" shouted Zidane, Naruto and Edward in unison giving a high-five while Cloud merely stood there impassively, while mentally sighing.

"_Are all blondes except me like this?" _wondered the spiky-haired swordsman as he also finally noticed the growing cloud of dust that was the villagers rushing towards the group.

"Hey who are those guys, friends of yours?" asked Zidane pointing to the mob. Naruto paled and made to run.

"Very angry mob, trying to kill me. Unless even-blockier cool blonde guy wants to help take them down." Cloud thought for a while, kill the short blonde that had called him a 'blocky' guy, although he did put in the word cool too, or kill the mob. Eventually Cloud decided.

"I'll go with killing mobs today," said Cloud while Naruto jumped for joy. The short horned girl immediately drew a circle.

"I summon you, Fenrir!" Naruto immediately felt a bad stomach cramp when a large poof emerged, and the Kyuubi was revealed standing in front of them.

"Ah...mobs, my most hated people in the world." Naruto was stumped.

"I thought I was your most hated person in the world, demon fox...wait, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING OUTSIDE OF YOUR SEAL?" The Kyuubi merely sighed before turning back to the villagers.

"I have a life outside of you, you know." By this time, the villagers had also noticed the 500 foot tall demon standing in front of them and immediately crapped their pants just seeing the damned thing.

Tsunade, who had been watching the whole debacle from the Hokage monument merely sighed.

"I knew it was a bad idea to stop Naruto eating ramen." That was when Jiraiya came along, weeping as he sat in a pitiful heap clutching a bottle of sake. Tsunade raised an eyebrow, what on Earth could make Jiraiya cry?

"I'm broke!" exclaimed Jiraiya remorsefully as he took a long swig of the bottle. Tsunade immediately mentally jumped for joy; any pain to Jiraiya was a good day for her.

"How?"

"My stupid apprentice decided to use all the Icha Icha in the world as a human shield from what my sources tell me, if I ever find the idiot that destroyed my books, I will kill them. And I'm not in a very good mood either, it's that time of the month." Tsunade immediately visibly paled. Jiraiya angry was one thing, but Jiraiya with the temperament of a woman in hormonal stress was frightening. Tsunade sighed again, ignoring the fact that Jiraiya had no female reproductive organs.

"_Never mind, Naruto should've kept his ramen."_

_Aito: And that's the end of the chapter! Next time, what will happen to Tsunade, what will happen to the villagers? And will Kakashi ever get rid of that chainsaw? Find out next time on S.O.D!_


	8. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

This brings an end to SOD, and the beginning of SOD2: Chronicles Of Confusion which is now up.


End file.
